During the haircut: Oh my gosh, this is heaven. It's a massage for my head. And everything smells so good. And this lady is so friendly! Oh look, my split ends are going away. Yay!
The morning after the haircut: What the hell have I done? Where's my hair? I miss my long split ends! I'm so sad that my hair is gone. Why won't it fall the right way? Did she not hear me when I said layers on top and thin on the bottom? No amount of product will fix this shape. There's a reason I never strip my hair with shampoo. I look like a freakin' frizzy pyramid!
Two washes after the haircut: Ok, I'm starting to look like myself again. I have to tug on my hair all day long so that I don't look like a springy chia pet church lady, but I can handle this. Another pound of leave-in conditioner and it will feel weighed down enough for me to feel normal. I'll just wear my hair in a bun for the next three months. I'm never getting another haircut again.
Two weeks after the haircut: Blech, look at all these split ends. Maybe I should get a haircut!